Blue Moon by Jenny Knipfer

Author:Jenny Knipfer
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Jenny Knipfer
Published: 2019-12-12T00:00:00+00:00



The world is a looking glass

and gives back to every man (woman)

the reflection of his own face.

~

William Makepeace Thackeray





Chapter Thirteen

June 29th, 1895

Webaashi Bay

Am I selfish? A hard question, but one I prompted myself to ask yesterday. I suppose at the core everyone holds themselves dear. We all want to live and enjoy life. We spend our days doing merely that. But life should be more than self-gratification, otherwise, why would we love? Really love, I mean. I have to believe at the heart of love lies unselfishness.

I remember only one thing distinctly about church as an adolescent. Near Valentine’s Day, I had a crush on a boy my age in the congregation, Thomas Rhine. I was twelve and he thirteen. He hosted reddish brown hair, freckles, and the bluest eyes I’d ever seen. Instead of listening to the sermon, I day-dreamt about Thomas, but something in the reverend’s voice caught my attention. I heard him ask the congregation what love was. He answered his rhetorical question with a passage of scripture. I can’t remember the reference now, but I remember the words, ‘We love because He first loved us.’

I hadn’t committed much of scripture to memory. What I do know, I’ve not thought of in years, until today. We love because God loved us. I ask myself how He loved us. He loved us enough to lay down His life for us, for me. In other words, our well-being was more important than His, so if I’m really loving Luis, I will put his well-being above my own. That’s what any good parent does. How do I determine what’s the best for him? I thought I knew, but maybe I only hoped?

The older I get, the more I understand a little more about God and what it means to be a good parent. I haven’t been an exemplary daughter. My interest in any sort of relationship with Him has been minimal. However, I would like to think He’s been there all along for me, even if I wasn’t an active participant.

I need to talk to Luis, and maybe, I should talk to my heavenly Father. Both may hold the key to this whole parental predicament.

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